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She counted the long "to-do-list" every day in one breath. "Which item on this list is the most important?" I asked. "It's all important!" "There is no difference at all?" She thought for a while. "None." "So these things are all equally important?" I double-checked. "Well, the nature is different, but the degree of importance is the same."<\/p>\n
I asked her to explain the importance of each item one by one. She said that if you don\u2019t return to work, you won\u2019t be able to pay for the building; if you don\u2019t work overtime, it will affect the company; if you don\u2019t teach your subordinates, they will be lazy; if you don\u2019t study for your children, they will stay in work; The family will become a mass grave...<\/p>\n
Hey, wait a minute. I seem to hear some clues. The "important" that Kaiqing mentioned didn't seem to refer to those things, but\u2014her. In her description, everything, big or small, must be done by her. Without her, the family would be disbanded, the company would close down, and the universe would collapse...<\/p>\n
It is common sense for people who take everything on their shoulders for a long time to not have "Me Time". I suddenly had a whim and asked Kaiqing: "If at this moment, aliens landed on the earth and took you away, and you disappeared from the world, what do you think will happen to your children, parents, and company in ten years?"<\/p>\n
Kaiqing suddenly fell silent. Hmm... First of all, the company will hire another Gao Ming to replace me. My husband's income is actually enough to pay for the building, and he should hire a servant to do the housework. The servant can bring the two elders to follow-up visits. The child should have graduated from university in ten years...<\/p>\n
"What did you discover when you were imagining these images?" I asked. "It turns out that even without me, the situation is not too bad." She smiled mischievously. Sometimes, what really suffocates me is not the busy life, but the way of thinking that "I can't do anything without myself".<\/p>\n
Exit doesn't mean it's unimportant<\/strong><\/p>\n For the next few weeks, Kaiqing practiced "letting go" hard. Try not to work overtime, ask family members to accompany the elders for follow-up visits, hire hourly housework, ask children to do their own homework... things went smoothly than expected.<\/p>\n "How does it feel to finally find 'Me Time'?" I asked. She gave an unexpected answer: "For some reason, I'm not as happy as I thought." "Oh, why?" A few times life coaching.<\/p>\n Looking back on her 40 years of life, Kaiqing realized that she had never done anything for herself. During his school days, he sacrificed his dreams to help his family, and studied more lucrative majors. After marriage, when her husband encountered setbacks, she tried her best to support him in her spare time. After the child was born, she turned into a universal mother again.<\/p>\n These experiences of "only giving to others but not myself" made her have no Me Time, but established a very solid sense of existence. Now that she suddenly has no position, she feels that she is "not important enough", and she will inevitably feel lost.<\/p>\n "During this transition period, is there anything else to discover besides 'I don't matter'?" I asked. "For example." "What is it?" "For example, the child was able to complete his homework." "What do you think is the reason why he can do it?" "Well, it should be my past supervision that made him lay the foundation Right." "So your role in this is...?" "Prepare for him, and then let him fly?" She smirked.<\/p>\n It turned out that I was able to get back Me Time not because I was unimportant, but because I was so important and finally retired. Thinking of this, Kaiqing felt relieved. Soon after, she used Me Time to enroll in her favorite courses. When children do their homework, they do their own homework. The child said that it feels good to study with his mother. For him, the company of his mother is also very important.<\/p>\n International Coach Federation (ICF) certified coach Huang Mingle<\/p>\n